From An Era in Anddemar
Copyright 2026 Maureen B. Roberts
The following morning in Ambreanthe, Selevrian, after embarking on a pre-dawn ride to watch the mist sprites at their mountain summit, came to her mother as the Vidar Quain sat writing memoirs at Sir Jaide’s desk. Here, bathed in the white light of Dameron that streamed through a Castle window, she seemed like a fading vision of serenity from an age long gone, such that Selevrian felt a reluctance to disturb her.
Looking up from her writing, Starwing perceived a vaguely worried look on her daughter’s face. ‘What troubles you, Selevrian?’ she asked, putting aside her quill.
For awhile Selevrian said nothing as she drifted close to her mother. ’Am I misguided to care as I do for Andraxxe?’ she finally asked. ‘My mind cautions me against a union that I know may be fraught with uncertainty, taboo and danger, but my heart will not heed the warning.’
’My daughter, our hearts take us often forcibly wheresoever they will,’ said Starwing, reaching to take hold of Selevrian’s hand gently. ‘In this we have next to no say. What choice we do have lies in whether to surrender to the pain and joy love bestows, or create a safe cave in which to hide from love’s inseparable blend of agony and ecstasy. But in such shielded darkness the heart is doomed to wither and harden, as would a plant starved of light and nourishment. When we do have clear choice, do we not sensibly shun blades of pain not honed by love, yet the heart thrives on being repeatedly pierced and thereby tenderised.
‘This I know, that if you care deeply for Andraxxe then you have sensed great good in him, for in this matter your own good heart would not deceive you. As well, you may take comfort in knowing that he is not your true cousin in the flesh. He was conceived as a marriage of matter and spirit, through the dark arts of Ainjanneth’s alchemy. Thus he has as yet untried power to unify solar and lunar forces, the elements, and the metals, including silver and gold.’
‘Nevertheless, I know not whether to keep him at arm’s length,’ said Selevrian. ‘He seems, like Vallorn, reluctant to renounce his liberty to venture wheresoever and whenever he likes, with scant regard for commitment to another.’
‘It is likely that, as with Vallorn, there are in Andraxxe restless urges that simply need to burn themselves out,’ said Starwing. ‘Like you, he has a demanding destiny. Unlike you, he walks in the formidable shadow of Morddain and for his sake I hope he in time finds a way to step clear of it and into his own, perhaps more tranquil light. It may be that in time you will find a way to bear one another’s burdens, for such is a gift born only of the deepest love. And you, Selevrian, have it in your heart to love as deeply as anyone can.’
‘I have always had your and father’s example to light my path,’ said Selevrian, as she wandered to the window to gaze out at drowsy, sunlit lawns.
‘Remember this, then,’ said Starwing, ‘that for Ten Eras I awaited such a man. Does that not reveal to you how rare a gift such exquisite love is?’
‘This I understand,’ said Selevrian turning back to her mother, ‘and I know that father has loved you not solely for your unrivalled beauty. He cherishes as well your quiet strength and deep wisdom.’
‘He cherishes, I assure you, much more besides,’ laughed Starwing as she flushed with coquettish pride.
Selevrian smiled in understanding.
‘I can only advise you this,’ said Starwing with renewed seriousness, ‘that you never betray your heart for the sake of any love that would pedestal you as an untouchable ideal, nor for any that would image you solely as the lamia of its whorish opposite. Inasmuch as you are whole and cannot be in such a manner, nor in any other false way divided, so ought any true love respect, yea, even welcome the unbreakable wholeness that is your truest self.
‘And if Andraxxe cares for you as you do for him, then through his own path to wholeness he will find a way to marry the freedom and commitment you both need to offer and receive. For did he not say to you, as you shared with me, that no matter how far he journeys his thoughts return always to you?
‘It may, or may not be your destiny to know, as I have, a love that is strong as diamond and tender as dew, but because of the fullness of your heart you shall know love to the depths of your body and soul, in whatever guise it may come to you. For you are even now becoming the love that knows no schism between giving and receiving, since these both are held within the vaster Mystery of Love, whom the Child Aaivan embodies as the Father-Mother who weaves these Heavens into one living web of communion.’
With this and more to ponder, Selevrian not long thereafter wandered out into the woods of Ambreanthe to take counsel from her heart, as she listened within to the joyfully sorrowful singing of her Friendstar, Seaureyne. The naiads and dryads watched her in silence from their trees and waters, while the reeds whispered and peacocks cried in the distance.